Britons Deploy Dummies to Slow Speeding Drivers
Picture the scene -- you're late for a big meeting with the boss so you're hauling ass through the quaint British town of Lockeridge when you round a corner to see two kids about to dart into traffic. Augh! Brakes!
The joke's on you, pal. You've been had by a "scare car," lifelike dummies created by the fine citizens of the village in Wiltshire to exorcise speed demons and maintain the pastoral calm of their small town (pop. 1,649).
Cognitive Edge says navi systems often send drivers on a short-cut through Lockeridge. All those high-falutin' city folk were tearing through town as if they were cruising the M5. Worried that some unlucky pedestrian would soon get creamed, the townsfolk took a decidely low-tech approach to solving the problem. They held a contest to build "scare cars" to scare the bejesus out of speeders, then planted them all over town. It's almost as silly as those inflatable police cars British bobbies have been using for years.
We like Lockeridge's passive-aggressive vigilantism. The dummies themselves, however, vary in quality from Madame Toussaud to Jim Henson. Check them out and vote for your favorite after the jump. Just don't get into an argument about it at The Who'da Thought It!
Caution, Gene Simmons Crossing:
Drive, drive as fast as you can -- you can't hit me, I'm the gingerbread man!
Wouldn't a hitchhiker make a driver speed up, rather than slow down?
We're late for the father-daughter dance! If we jaywalk across this main road, we'll get there faster!
We know the British have Zebra Crossings, but we don't think they meant it so literally.
Photos by Flickr user Dave Snowden.
I can't help but think that regular speedsters will learn to ignore the dummies, which might condition them to ignore actual hazards.
haha...hillarious. In Japan, they have bowing cardboard construction men holding caution signs.
Hoho, haha, how funny is the comedy racism of the guy holding the Warsaw sign. Makes me embarrassed to be British.
the only way to slow driveers down is to hit them in the pocet book!
just too many cars and too many people . . .
Those are my thoughts power leveling cheap :iwowleveling.com
If you think this is the only way to slow traffic then you've never driven in Britain.I'm not sure why they're not using them here, but they're "width barriers" and come in a few configurations.
The beefy one is a pair of upright steel pipes (4" - 6" dia.), filled with concrete, spaced six feet apart on a road. You're certainly going to slow down for that. Obviously, trucks aren't going through (there's a locked gate for ambulances and fire trucks). There's also a 6' 6" wide version you can take at speed if you're game. Most of these have various shades of paint to indicate victims.
The simpler ones are concrete lumps about 12" - 18" high, with similar spacing. These will take out a fender and suspension but not the car door. So you still slow right down.
@Charlie:
How is this racism? Was he supposed to be black?
@OneBob:
He's supposed to be Polish. The Poles are essentially the Mexicans of Europe and especially Britain.
(Not exactly a PC answer but then Americans don't get out much.)
This story is awesome. Of course in my town we have real kids darting into the streets. They're called college kids and I believe there are bonus points for hitting multiples. But honestly I know nothing about Britain but in New York (and probably anywhere else) you'd have to start with the police. I can't remember the last time I saw a cop driving the correct 20mph in a local school zone. 30 to 40 is more common. Until the police heed their own rules we can't expect normal drivers to.
well; there might help people who really dont know how to slow down. speed traps and many of those other things can be a good deturant of speed. what about a empty police car?
hwy cheack out this article on speed traps.
http://www.superherocars.com/article07.html
Britain already has the highest density of government surveillance and speed cameras densely packed along the roads.
In short they're already a bunch of slaves under a government whip, this nonsense is just more of the same.
The ever increasing human race,is bound to clog the roads,and not only knock down people,but also destroy millions of animals and birdlife etc There does not seen to be any easy solution. The human race will continue to over populate,and eventually maybe will destroy itself,and life will go on without the human race. All good,and bad,come to an end,
Another good AND fun thing to try is this:
post a radar gun that is hooked-up to a solenoid that releases a brightly-colored bowling ball whenever the radar detects a speeding car or truck.
The bowling ball (a 16-18 pounder should do enough damage), rolls down a ramp that puts it in the speeders way (of course, you'll have to also deploy cement roadway lane dividers for this to accomplish its goal).
The idea is to force the driver to slow down, or s/he hits the ball.
As most roads are bowed with the highest part in the middle (to assist with rain drainage), when the ball gets across the roadway, it drops into a small 'gutter' - just like indoor bowling! - and eventually drops underneath the street, to be placed in queue for the next hapless motorist.
they could call it
"Bowling for Wankers". Even put it on the telly for others to enjoy during high tea.
Splendid.
It won't be so cool if a driver hits a kid because he/she is induced to believe they are all dummies (no pun intended). Try the speed bumps instead.
Okay I'm one of the 'stupid American’s and even I think that 'bowling for wankers' is probably one of the dumbest ideas I've ever heard. I mean really the time and effort you'd need to put into making a system like that to even get it to WORK much less timing the ball release with the speed of the vehicle to force them to slow instead of speed up to beat the ball if there already cruseing fast enough.... heck just put up some of those width barriers and call it a day I rather like the idea. Plenty of old people would be loosing mirrors / cars to it if entertainment value is what you want. Hopefully get a few of them to give up this crazy notion that they can still drive.
The villagers cant "deploy speed bumps" themselves. Only the local council can do that. Generally they wont though, unless there have been a sufficient number of people killed there by speeding cars. Its a bit of a catch 22 if thats what you're hoping to prevent.
I recommend that they park their cars on the road, creating their own "traffic calming" obstacles.
this is what happens when a government creates more problems by implementing absurd solutions to a problem that can be solved rather easily, even for a dummy. TRY SPEED BUMPS!
I think I prefer the Danish method of slowing traffic http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/28/bikini_bandits/
@Dunen
'Bowling for Wankers'...
That'll be some of that 'sophistimecated British humour' u guis sometimes totally fail to get.
that is... hilarious! as another step they could put them on moving posts, and have them "jump out" at you from behind a tree. kind of like a haunted carnival ride, but on your way to work! no i agree though that the danger here is that someone who drives this route regularly might be "conditioned" to the presences of dummies, and they might accidentally ignore a real kid darting into traffic. i think it would be smart to do this 3-4 times a year on random dates to keep awareness, but not "condition" drivers to fake children on the sides of the roads.
@Stu--I got the remark about Poles, and I'm an American. Some of us do understand. Not all of us live under happy, brainless rocks!
Meh.
Here in the Southwest (USA) we have signs illustrating a Mexican family running across the highway. The child is nearly airborne they are running so fast.
http://www.rogerwendell.com/images/mexico/immigrant_crossing_san_diego_03-18-2004.jpg
@Stu
You snarky little shit. haha jk. You made me laugh.
The other night I just watched Eastern Promises which was up for an Oscar in the United States of Ignorance, the fake empire. Millions of us, blinking gapers, beat GTAIV, a British video game set in faux-NYC whose anti-hero is a no-good eastern trouble maker. Damn British xenophobes! Since we, Americans, can't read, we manage to look at Kal's cartoons in your Economist magazine every week. We know you're racist like us. You're just not lucky enough to have an exposed border to Poland where you could construct a wall.
A nation of sheep begets a govt of wolves,
Slick. If this becomes widely-adopted then speeders can learn that they don't need to slow down or pay any mind to humanoid shapes!
My solution would be a series of giant swinging pendulums across the roadway. You either slow down to wait for an opening while it swings, or you tear through and get clobbered. Like the swinging/spinning ball & chain things in the Super Mario games. Or perhaps a Thwomp...wait...those only made you run faster to get by them... Perhaps spinning sticks made out of fireballs? That might slow em down. And if they make it through your town, you can't let them pass until they defeat Bowser.
@Stu
Thanks, I was going to bash the people in this town with some crude remarks about the wizard of oz, but I learned something about Polish people so I will be nice.
@Stu
You snarky little shit. haha jk. You made me laugh.
The other night I just watched Eastern Promises which was up for an Oscar in the United States of Ignorance, the fake empire. Millions of us, blinking gapers, beat GTAIV, a British video game set in faux-NYC whose anti-hero is a no-good eastern trouble maker. Damn British xenophobes! Since we, Americans, can't read, we manage to look at Kal's cartoons in your Economist magazine every week. We know you're racist like us. You're just not lucky enough to have an exposed border to Poland where you could construct a wall.
A nation of sheep begets a govt of wolves,
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@Stu
You snarky little shit. haha jk. You made me laugh.
The other night I just watched Eastern Promises which was up for an Oscar in the United States of Ignorance, the fake empire. Millions of us, blinking gapers, beat GTAIV, a British video game set in faux-NYC whose anti-hero is a no-good eastern trouble maker. Damn British xenophobes! Since we, Americans, can't read, we manage to look at Kal's cartoons in your Economist magazine every week. We know you're racist like us. You're just not lucky enough to have an exposed border to Poland where you could construct a wall.
A nation of sheep begets a govt of wolves,
~~~~~~~~@@@@#####$$$$$%%%%%
~~~~~~~~@@@@#####$$$$$%%%%%
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~~~~~~~~@@@@#####$$$$$%%%%%^^^^&&&&****** ==============@@@@@@@@##########@@@ Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby or a woman have sugar daddy?? It is an absolutely extramarital relationship. but more and more services come out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship. such as ~~~~~~~http://www.Sugarmatchmaker.com ~~~~~~~~ ..it's the biggest dating site for lonely woman and rich guy.... @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
@Stu
You snarky little shit. haha jk. You made me laugh.
The other night I just watched Eastern Promises which was up for an Oscar in the United States of Ignorance, the fake empire. Millions of us, blinking gapers, beat GTAIV, a British video game set in faux-NYC whose anti-hero is a no-good eastern trouble maker. Damn British xenophobes! Since we, Americans, can't read, we manage to look at Kal's cartoons in your Economist magazine every week. We know you're racist like us. You're just not lucky enough to have an exposed border to Poland where you could construct a wall.
A nation of sheep begets a govt of wolves,
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@Stu
You snarky little shit. haha jk. You made me laugh.
The other night I just watched Eastern Promises which was up for an Oscar in the United States of Ignorance, the fake empire. Millions of us, blinking gapers, beat GTAIV, a British video game set in faux-NYC whose anti-hero is a no-good eastern trouble maker. Damn British xenophobes! Since we, Americans, can't read, we manage to look at Kal's cartoons in your Economist magazine every week. We know you're racist like us. You're just not lucky enough to have an exposed border to Poland where you could construct a wall.
A nation of sheep begets a govt of wolves,
~~~~~~~~@@@@#####$$$$$%%%%%
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@Stu
You snarky little shit. haha jk. You made me laugh.
The other night I just watched Eastern Promises which was up for an Oscar in the United States of Ignorance, the fake empire. Millions of us, blinking gapers, beat GTAIV, a British video game set in faux-NYC whose anti-hero is a no-good eastern trouble maker. Damn British xenophobes! Since we, Americans, can't read, we manage to look at Kal's cartoons in your Economist magazine every week. We know you're racist like us. You're just not lucky enough to have an exposed border to Poland where you could construct a wall.
A nation of sheep begets a govt of wolves,
~~~~~~~~@@@@#####$$$$$%%%%%
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Jackasses! Ever heard of Chicken Little?
The first time, I see a dummy and I hit the brakes. The second time, I see a dummy and hit the brakes. The third time, I see a kind (and think it's another dummy) and I fail to hit the brakes.
this is asinine the people will learn to ignore human(and animal) silloutes
Man, I love the brits and all the great thinsg they do to make their roadways so lovely and safe. I spent a total of 5 weeks in the past year there and driving there was so nice. No wankers like here in the US, they use their signals! And in those 5 weeks and probably 2,000 miles I saw only 3 accidents. I can do that in one day in Phoenix.
Thats not gonna help them them with speed driver`s because that will distract them an they will get in a car acident
Not to mention the thrills you get when you get a clan of friends, gather around 100 tennis balls, and look out for speeding cars, when there is one all of you chuck a tennis ball at the car, if you get around 20 people to help that's 20 tennis balls into the car with a THUNK or a THUNK THUNK THUNK, etc.
The driver will be so surprised he will brake and turn, skidding into a doughnut, then you guys can go and eat the doughnut! =)
But let's be real:
This will only excersize less caution, "Oh look it's a doll!" CRACK , BOOM, MEOW, SO HORNY (jk), "Oh wait it's old man Thomas. . . shit, my insurance rate is going to go up".
Maybe a "PLEASE SLOW DOWN" sign with a sad face on it?
-my 2 cents
yea speed bumps would work! Duh! this is nuts! these people in cars are all gonnna stop, and run into each other....thats just my view...
id love to go driving and feel the cool wind race through my hair with every well handled corner, but im a microwave oven so im out of luck.
Man, I love the brits and all the great thinsg they do to make their roadways so lovely and safe. I spent a total of 5 weeks in the past year there and driving there was so nice. No wankers like here in the US, they use their signals! And in those 5 weeks and probably 2,000 miles I saw only 3 accidents. I can do that in one day in Phoenix.
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During so-called "rush hours," do it the military airfield way: put a "Follow Me" sign on the back of a truck and lead a line of them through town every five minutes. They'll be back to clogging up the highway in no time.
After some time the people would get used to seeing the scare cars and ignore them. Scary thing is they will get so used to them that they wont even notice when a real person is about to cross.
People over here in the states in their big-assed honkin' SUV's would aim for 'em, like "Death Race 2000" Bet me...
You Americans and Brits complain about how unsafe your roads are. Here in my country it's far more worse.
The sign which is meant to ridicule the Polish is a bit too offensive. I'm Polish and live in California. How would you like to live under the iron curtain for nearly 40 years barley being able to survive? Would you take any opportunity for a better life? No shit you would. Oh well I guess ill just go and make fun of the British, who have gotten their asses kicked by the Americans, and had their heads up their ass so much that they thought the world belonged to them.
hey that's my mum and sister!
You American morons 1) don't have a sense of humour and 2) are so fuckin stoopid that you think anyone in the big world out there is interested in what drivel comes out of your mouths
Dude... the dad's Michael Jackson!
@Wade
You say that as if all the states had the same road conditions, enforcement and laws. This is simply not the case.
I'm in Pennsylvania at the moment - visiting my brother and I'm surprised at the absolute nut jobs on the roads here. It seems like everyone is crazy behind the wheel, without exception in Philadelphia.
Taking the title of "worse drivers" in my mind, a place previously held by the now seemingly safe, at least in comparison, Californians. California apparently has yet to educate their public about the existence much less the use of a turn signal.
So if conditions in Phoenix are like those in Philadelphia, I can't blame you for thinking Arizonians nuts, but with such varied regulation you can't claim all fifty states or any of the territories to have the same defect.
I call Western Washington home and hell, we have very few problems. WADOT does a good job with design, and WASP does a wonderful job at enforcement. At worse, we have a little traffic here and there (if ever in Seattle, avoid 520 at all costs), but I can go months without seeing an accident and I drive about 20,000/miles a year.
Local city councils are quick to respond with new signs, speed bumps, etc. and the "covered sign" phenomenon is one I only ever encounter outside of Washington.
Just some food for thought.
Slow people down? Oh, that's easy electronic governors that speed signs emit to cars. It remains at that top speed until they reach a new sign. So terrible simple its repugnant
I find the Polish dummy racist and extremely xenophobic - shame on Lockeridge for capitalizing on and spreading stereotypes on Poles that are already too loud in British medias.
A piece by Duane Hanson is on display at the Palm Springs Art Museum.
Titled "Old Couple on a Bench", 1995.
he took impressions off actual people, scupted it and added clothes.
They sit on a bench inside the museum with a small sign 'please do not disturb the old couple' Very realistic. Kind of a shock when you walk by and first realize they are not 'live' or 'biologically enabled' :)
The problem with the British hump is it is wide and gentle, here in the Philippines they are narrow and rough, like a bad repair by the water company or electric. If you don't slow down then there goes your suspension and any pipes under the car, so no brakes no fuel. The humps here really are vicious. There are alot of things here that the road safety people could learn from, even if they don't like them, such as not having a cross road but making vehicles go to a gap in the centre reservation and doing a u-turn,it works well even here in the city of Manila.
Crash test dummies in their former lives???
EDITOR: Joe Brown | 
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Course, speed bumps work also.
Especially right before a curve with large trees in the way to then stop the now out of control speeding vehicle.
A dead driver only does something terminally stupid once.