A Scythe for Sore Eyes
Remember the guy in high school who drove the clapped-out rat rod that looked like hell but went like stink? Everyone made fun of his rust bucket, but only because they were jealous that he got to drive it while they could only look at it. We imagine he's the guy who would buy the Galpin Auto Sports Scythe if he hit the lottery.
We're sure Beau Boeckmann's crew at GAS were specifically commissioned to build a vehicle with two steering wheels, 1,005 horsepower and a face like a cicada. We can't imagine any other reason an ordinarily top-tier custom shop would create such so hideous a monster. After all, these are the folks who bring you the custom-for-custom's sake reinterpretations seen on Pimp My Ride. "With Scythe, we set out to showcase all of our unique fabrication abilities here at GAS," Boeckmann said in press release. "From the handmade composite body and voice-activated on-board computer system to the twin-supercharged 1,005 horsepower engine, this car was built to make a statement."
That statement is "We turned a 2008 Mustang GT convertible into a 1994 Hot Wheels reject."
Boechmann unveiled the Scythe at a big charity event that featured more B-, C- and D-List celebs than an episode of I Love the 90's. Heck, even Mark McGrath and Scott Baio were there. We hope proceeds went to the AMC Gremlin Memorial Foundation for Terminally Unattractive Cars.
Beyond not having to look at the exterior of the car, the driver of the Scythe will find pleasantries like a voice-activated Shuttle XPC computer that, connected to a 3-G network, provides real-time traffic, news and weather updates. Flush-mounted exterior security cameras will capture the horrified stares of passersby and the howls of crying children losing control of their bodily functions.
It's really a pity that GAS decided to pour so much effort into a car that makes the Elephant Man look like Brad Pitt because it's got some amazing engineering under that ugly skin. The twin Magnuson supercharged 5.0-liter engine? Custom built by GAS. The Air Ride Technologies suspension with computer-adjustable ride height? A GAS original. With dual automatically-retracting steering wheels, the Scythe is even configurable for right- and left-hand drive should drivers want to terrify the British or use it to deliver mail.
While we wouldn't turn down the chance to drive the Scythe -- 1,005 horsepower is, after all, 1,005 horsepower -- we have to say it is seriously ugly. All that technology doesn't make up for the fact that looks like just the perfect child-terrifying cross between a Dirt Devil and an earwig.
Photos courtesy Galpin Auto Sports. Sorry, guys ...
My first reaction was the same, blech! But upon further inspection, most of the car doesn't look that bad. It's only worse-than-an-Aztek from the front axel forward. Wish there was a rear shot to see what that looks like.
Any new show car with an Internal Combustion Engine is like a fancy new typewriter... Big, Heavy and Obsolete!
But this one does seem to be the grand prize winner in the cheesiest car contest.
Any new show car with an Internal Combustion Engine is like a fancy new typewriter... Big, Heavy and Obsolete!
But this one does seem to be the grand prize winner in the cheesiest car contest.
If the Batmobile had crabs, they'd look like this.
Well, I kinda like it.
Yeah, like this car is going to win style points either...
I still think this looks pretty f'n cool
I don't understand the fuss.. The car's beautiful...
The kid in me likes it, the adult in me would love to drive it into the effing ground.
Now that's a show room car. You take pictures of the weird thing.
Funniest car review ever! The "security cameras" line had be laughing out loud. I think more car manufacturers need to produce work like this so Keith has more fodder for his angst.
WTF?! You people must be blind. It's beautiful.
reminds me of the batmobile
1/10 for the troll
It looks absolutely stunning - and scary !!
I think Jalopnik missed a winner on their top 10 scariest looking cars... this one would have taken the cake.
They might have had better luck starting out with a plymouth prowler... the body has a very "slapped-together" look :(
Seriously does look like a toy-car, they have tried to appeal to the kid within i suppose... missed the mark though. It's not handsome, or attractive in any way... A shame - but then again, from watching PMR I'd say Galpin like to make cars (no matter how ridiculous) just to show how far they could go if anyone wanted them to. Pity they don't show more flare in the tasteful restraint department!
I'm sorry, but I love it
Outside of the color (flat black)
This thing is mean and ushers
the designers statement with force.
How ever this techchef is looking for
a rat-rod with a solar intake on top of a bio-natural gas engine.
GAS got me thinking.
Love the car, hope to see it
but the clearance is crazy low.
stay wired,
iTechChef
Looks like Darth Vader's face looking out to you !!
Paint it flat black and it could be used in an updated version of Mad Max...
that thing looks evil, and I love it!
@MikeD:
you can see rear-shots of the car in this photo-collection
http://www.auto-motor-und-sport.de/fotos/foto-shows/news/mpsfshw_show_505867_13999.hbs
@WIRED
"we have to say it is seriously ugly"
who is "we"? did you vote amongs all employees??
That car is not that bad and surely very courageous, I like it.
The car is beautiful, without question, if you're the kind of person who likes Campari, understands Pynchon without a primer, and thinks the iPhone is an overrated POS.
What's up with those spikes on the front? That's ridiculous. Imagine walking around the car and catching one of those on the ankle? What's the point of that?
Aside from the ridiculous "pincers" on the front corners and the tacked-on taillights, I really like the design.
Looks like it was poured out of a T-1000 factory! It must have about 1/2" of ground clearance - how do you drive it on a real road?
Call me crazy... no, really... Call me crazy, but I like it.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, just because you dont like it doesnt mean someone else wont.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, just because you dont like it doesnt mean someone else wont.
That crazy ass long nose with spiked catfish whiskers can't be very aerodynamic. 1,005 HP would probably be far too much for this bondo badboy and cause it to flip.
redo
Nicest looking car I've seen made since the day I was born. Ridiculously overpowered though.
I think your taste in cars sucks. This thing is ridiculous, but not all that ugly. There are plenty more ugly cars out their that have no redeeming qualities yet hundreds and thousands of people buy them, say, the Scion Xb for example. So instead of whining like a douche the entire time write about the car. Also, don't be a dick and make fun of the "Elephant Man" wasn't his fault.
I like! It looks like some of my kids Hot Wheels cars. Well, except for those stupid points on the front air d*m. I look at it and think shark, has to be in motion. The body lines could be a little cleaner, but that's part of the appeal.
I think its pretty tight looking actually, the car is awesome, and with all that high tech stuff inside and the 1000 + hp..sure beats my F-150
the car is amazing.. most beautiful i have ever seen!
I've found its ugliness very attractive & interesting. much better than most recent sport cars with shitty design.
I'd take this over a Gremlin any day.
Funniest article I've read in a while..the analogies and similes had me laughing my ass off
I like it =/
The car is a beauty in its own way. I like it!
This car reminds me of those unrealistic designer dresses on the fashion shows; the ones that look fancy but nothing you would buy and wear for the real world. Come on people, look at the space between the ground and the metal. No elevations or hills or bumps on the roads you will drive this? Or is this just for racing?!?! I would just laugh at this but appreciate the efforts at the same time... I am only talking about the outer design anyway.
It's a shame the bodywork would be completely ruined after driving over the first pot hole limiting it to .000005% of US Roads or a quick run down the end of the drive way and back. Ah well I'll stick to my old metro painted like a bumblebee it may not make it past the 2nd pothole but it didn't cost half a bagillion dollars....
Very humorous and well written article! The 'Hot Wheels reject' line nailed it dead on, very funny and so true!
Seriously though, does anybody else think it should be a new Covenant vehicle for Halo 4?
I can just see Prince getting out of that car, wearing a long driving scarf with a cloud of steam behind him.
Hotness.
wow someone made a full sized hot wheels car! awesome!
Clearly they did their job. This is a niche vehicle to get such polar reactions speaks volumes.
Points OFF for still having wheels.
What else would you expect from people who have absolutly no taste or style, an Aston Martin? James Bond would be doing us all a favor by blowing this thing up immediatly.
That pedestrian spike might have trouble getting DOT approved.
You miss the point entirely. Regardless of what you think of the aesthetics, it was designed to make a lasting impression, which I think has been thoroughly achieved =P
What are you ranting about. It's beautiful. I love the computer-adjustable ride height concept:)
Love the car. Hate the lame write-up.
Go write about Prius or some other pitiful conveyance...
How's a talented writer gain such a queer (not to be confused with homosexual, as they have style) of automobile aesthetics? That car is gorgeous.
That thing looks freaking awesome. I'm guessing it's just going to get hauled around on a trailer to shows though, with that ground clearance. Unless the adjustable suspension will give you more clearance.
Wow - i want one - looks as tasty as a Tesla too... mmmmmm
When writing critiques, one might remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder! How many f'ing times do you need to tell us how ugly you think the car is?
Your opinion is relevant at most once, and should not be the center of the piece. I know that I, and I assume most readers, got that you found the car ugly pretty early on, after that it was just a distraction.
And Wired continues its descent down the toilet bowl...
can we get some pictures of the inside?
Well as a car chick I like it. My main concern is aerodynamics. I mean if your thumping down 1005 hp ( of course we all know that means sh** if there is no torque) You shirly want to put it to the ground properly. I am afraid that that car at speed would lift to the point that the tires would lose grip. Of course that leads on to the rims being over 17 inch they would have so much rotational mass that it would make cornering impossible, more so then the base car a '08 stang. And honestly why would you need dual steering wheels is this a drivers-ed car Oh hell no I don't think so.
Anyone who says this car is ugly is mentally challenged. This is an awesome looking and sounding vehicle. I don't understand how any of you could say that this is an aesthetically atrocious vehicle. Sure it is just a little too low to the ground, but the kit on the outside I think looks freakin sweet.
I love the skewers on front. When you get home from a drive in the country, just park right over a flame and you can have BBQ possum.
I don't think it is nearly as bad as the author says. I may not sit well with most, but I think the lines have potential. The front grill and hood profile is pretty nice actually. Obviously, this car was not built for the masses, but it does have appeal.
love it, sorry keith. maybe a Yugo is more your speed?
I think it looks kinda cool in a novelty car kinda way, and the insides are out of this world. But then again, I was playing with Hotwheels back in 1994
This car is beautiful... all of you doomsayers tell me you wouldnt drive this car.
Unique and bad ass "playing gears of war2 so excuse the bad ass comment"
Bring on the production line and lets get a unique looking car out there
It's only ugly if you think that it's ugly. It's a Rat Rod for sure...right off of the bubblegum cards. I'd drive it anywhere...that had level enough terrain to accommodate that clearance.
This car is a fucinkg wind punch! It looks like it might punch and claw its way into a head-wind. I freaking love it.
Bravo!
ITS PREDATOR.....from the old Arnold Schwarzenegger move with the same name. Just look at the front looks like pincers and the grill looks like the Predator's mouth.
This car rocks!!!! Keith Barry is obviously off his meds!
OK what is it with the people at wired?! They have no taste or design sense! Keith you are definately off your meds, this car is not ugly. It isn't gorgeous, but it aint ugly. Just goes to prove that if your'e going to work with tech these days, it helps to be a little art minded.
Are you kidding me. Where do I buy one?
FYI- The car has 3 suspension settings...show, street & load heights...awesome car with awesome technologies!
It looks like a beetle. :P
nice car ha ha like it
Dislike the design? Are you fucking kidding me?! Consider yourselves officially beyond old if you don't like the design.
I think it beautiful too, though I would like to see how it looks in a different color.
Hate much, Keith?
It is a fantasy concept car, not a street car.
You must be the dweeb that yells "FAKE!" at the screen when a galactic destroyer blows a planet up with a laser weapon.
I like the design, but the color makes it seem hideous. Make it Black with some red highlights in it or something. Then we would have something to work with. I would drive that everywhere. Of course I imagine the MPG is only like 1 mpg.
And you were expecting a Camry or something?
The only thing ugly about this car it the article written about it at Wired.com
Again... Wired Fails.
No I was not expecting great gas mileage. I was just saying, Steve.
Yup. Hot Wheels. First thing that came to mind. My nephew has quite a collection. Some of them are really cool. He lets me play with them sometimes.
to each there own ....
as for writing about this car in a negative tone....jealousy?....maybe?
either way ....sad
Pretty much par for the course for GAS. Some of their cars are alright but most look like Hot Wheels rejects. I remember one they put a bubble machine on, a bubble machine! How dopey can you get?
Jay Leno would buy it, even if it is a little pimped, because it has 1005 hp.
Are you guys on the pipe? This car is original and beautiful. I guess you guys prefer those electric razors and econo-boxes that are puttering around the roads.
Are you guys on the pipe? This car is original and beautiful. I guess you guys prefer those electric razors and econo-boxes that are puttering around the roads.
And with two steering wheels- think of the defense: 'I wasnt driving the car, the guy in the other seat was!'
lop what such I will not say Because I saw more maniac
Stupidest review ever...your a jack ass. this thing would eat you for breakfast, shit you out after a 10 miles an hour cause you suck, and leave you in a purple haze of car sperm after it f-d you into the ground, that car is bad ass, the review on the other hand is reminiscent of the red bull and cheap vodka I vomited up last weekend. fast furious, and not worth the read
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!
EDITOR: Joe Brown | 
web sites:
Engineering:Awesome
Aesthetics:Atrocious